Where's the Baby?

A friend, who will remain anonymous, was charged with taking care of his baby for the afternoon. He decided to go into the office and get some work done, so put the baby in her carrier, went to the office, and placed her right inside the door, so he wouldn't leave the office without her.
Well, when it came time to leave, he stepped right over the baby carrier, left the office, locked the door, and drove home. When he walked in the house, his wife asked him, "Where's the baby?"
Fortunately, the baby was sleeping soundly in his office.
The "baby" is now in graduate school, and her father is still on his own recognizance.

Senior Moment Score: gotta be a 5.

Oxymoron

If you want a free bumper sticker that says "Gated Community: An oxymoron?"
Attach your mailing address as a comment to this posting, and I'll put one in the mail to you.
Apologies to those who thought this was a senior moment.

Where's Maya?

Our friend's teenager, Maya, went on a mission trip to Peru this summer. On
the day she was to return, her mother sent Maya's sister to pick
Maya up at the airport. Maya's sister called to say that Maya had
not gotten off the plane. The mother, frantic, got on the phone with
the airlines, only to discover that Maya had not even been ON the
FLIGHT! Mid-panic, Maya's brother Adrian overheard his mother, and
pointed out, "Mom, Maya's not coming home until tomorrow!"

Score: 4.

CONTRIBUTE YOUR SENIOR MOMENT HERE!

Please enter your own senior moment here as a comment to this posting. You can do it anonymously. Don't forget to rate it from 1 - 5.

The scale for rating senior moments is 1-5, with one being 'fairly commonplace, a mistake anybody could make," to five, which is "scary; seriously doubting my sanity and ability to function." A three is a pretty good story, while 5 is a story you would only tell your close friends after either a drink or significant circumspection.

Dine and Dash

This  happened a Lonnnng time ago.
        In Manhattan Theater district I was in a very classy
        restaurant having dinner, alone.
        I looked at my watch and discovered that it was later than
       I thought.
             I was living in Queens at the time and had to take
       the train to 179th St, and then catch a bus to Douglaston.
             I realized that I didn't have much leeway since the
        last bus left 179th St. at 11:45 and I had to get from 44th St
        to the 179th St in less than three quarters of an hour.
       I practically ran up Broadway and bounced into the station,
       Waited an interminable five minutes for the train
       and finally, seated comfortably in a corner, breathed a sigh
       of relief.
       This lasted until 123rd St when I had a very uncomfortable
       realization that I had left the restaurant without paying the
       check. 
        
       Ans: Of Course I did, Two days later I went back and
             settled up with the manager. Tip and All
                  It was the waiter's day off.

Senior Moment Rating: 3

We Have A FIVE!

My friend Carol, who almost remained nameless, arranged a big, surprise birthday for a close friend of hers' 30th birthday. Carol knew that Mary's birthday wouuld be her 30th, because they had often joked about the fact that Mary was a year older, and Carol was 29.

Well, Mary arrived at Carol's house, alll those present jumped up and yelled, "SURPRISE!" and mary was indeed very surprised.

Later, she took Carol aside and said, "you know, I'm only 29."
"No you're not, you're a year older than me and I'm 29," replied Carol.

"Carol, you're only 28."

Silence.


Rating: 5 + (the plus is for the sustained delusion; not really a "moment" at all)

Nice Purse, You're Welcome

We recently invited a family to dinner because their son had announced he had joined the marines. Being good friends of ours, we thought it might be nice to take them out and buy dinner for the family.
Dinner was almost over when their 16 year old daughter said something to me to which I responded "you're welcome". I thought she had thanked me for dinner, but she had said "nice purse".
Where the hell I got "thanks for dinner" from "nice purse" I'll never know. It did explain the strange look she gave me when I said "you're welcome".
Ugh!

Suggested rating: 2 on the Senior Moments Scale

It's Great.....!

My sister was getting ready for her daughter's seventh birthday, and she and her husband were wrapping the gifts. She sent him into the bedroom to get the birthday card from her dresser drawer. He pulled the drawer open, and said "Oh -oh!"
On the cover of the card were the words "It's Great You're Eight!"

They used it the next year.

Rating: 2 (would be 3, except that they remembered to use it, and found it, the following year.)

CONTRIBUTE YOUR SENIOR MOMENT HERE!

Please enter your won senior moment here as a comment to this posting. You can do it anonymously. Don't forget to rate it from 1 - 5.

The Driveway Chainsaw Massacre

Last summer, I took my husband's (Mac's) chainsaw to be repaired. The gas had been left in it for over a year, and it had siezed up. After picking it up from the hardware store, where we had an extended conversation about the proper care of chainsaws ("you're lucky we could fix it"), I took it home in the trunk ofmy car. After pulling into the driveway, I took the chainsaw out and placed it right behind the car, so Mac would see it as he drove in the driveway, and be pleased that it was fixed.
In the meantime, I went in the house, and came to the conclusion that I needed to go to Kinko's to run off some copies. Back out the front door I went, right past the chainsaw, got into my car and threw it into reverse. When I heard the sound of the chainsaw grinding aginst the bottom of the car, I couldn't figure out what it was. Then, it hit me. I tried putting it in first gear, and going forward, only to realize I was stuck; perched on the chainsaw.
I got out, and looked under the car. Yep, there it was.
Mac got home, and we had to jack up the car to get the chainsaw dislodged. The hardware store guys had fun giving me shit the very next morning when I shlepped in with the chainsaw, looking a bit more mangled than it had the night before when I picked it up. Fortunately, they were again able to fix it (miraculously; it's a Stihl) and I brought it home and let Mac take it out of the trunk.
A week later, Hurricane Isabel hit; we had the chain saw working in the nick of time.

Senior Moment Rating: 5

then there's renee

Renee told her husband she wanted a red scarf for Christmas. Nothing else, just the red scarf. Shortly after Christmas, she was getting ready to go out with her sister, and she was ransacking the house looking for the red scarf. After about fifteen minutes of looking, and cursing under her breath, she remembered.......her husband didn't GIVE her a red scarf!
Senior moment rating: 3